When I saw her for the first time, her eyes were filled with tears and she was inconsolably crying, a little embarrassed to be caught by passersby but then deeply caught in the web of her helplessness of not being able to hold back the flow of emotions, the turmoil she was feeling inside. She was at first leaning and then pushing herself against the washroom wall so hard – I thought to myself, Oh God, how badly she wanted some one to hold her and tell her its ok, whatever it is it will be fine.
As I walked into the washroom of the airport, I initially tried to ignore her and went about clearing my face, ensuring my kaajal wasn’t smudged; but then I seeing her condition I felt guilty of being around. I tried looking again towards her from the corner of my eye, and she caught me, making me soak in shame in that same second. In my heart, something was telling me to check on her, but I was trying my best to ignore. And then almost involuntarily I nodded my head looking at her, hiding away from the prying eyes to ask what was causing her this pain…to which she replied by turning towards the wall to hide her face from me as well as the glaring world.
I suddenly realized that I had walked up to her in no time and gently put my hand on her shoulders to ask what in the world was making her cry so much? Simultaneously in my mind, I was asking myself – What’s wrong with you?? Why you even bothered and poking your bloody nose in her life!! To top it all, I had a flight to board in next 15 minutes. What could I really do for her even if she needed my help? And the chain of my thoughts was put aside by a squeeze. And to my surprise, I realized she cuddled up to me, held me, but was still not able to hold back her tears. Almost embarrassed by my thoughts, I embraced her back, and just held her without saying a word to console her. While holding her, I kept praying the most obvious, reI hope that there is no bereavement in her family.. But then does that cause such a public outburst of emotions, I wasn’t sure. I kept praying.. I just hope it’s not that!!.. but kept feeling dreadful expecting the worst.
It took her a few minutes to realize that she was clinging on to a complete stranger. Almost mumbling to herself – be strong, it’s fine. It’s ok... your world has not collapsed; she tried to gather control, courage to look into my eye.
We still had not exchanged a word and it didn’t feel like that there was a need. She splashed water on her face again and again almost wishing away her destiny lines – to be washed away and be changed. She finally wiped her face and said thank you to me. I thought to myself, it was time for me to leave her and go. I looked at my watch and yes it was my time. But my inability to answer back made me realize that I had tears filled in my eyes waiting to trickle down and my choked voice, making it obvious to her.. how distressed I was!! But without giving any chance to check on each other any further... I rushed out to verify my flight status.
Thankfully my flight was on time and I queued up ready to board my flight, to take on what was coming next. I saw her step out of the washroom to take a corner seat at the waiting lounge, hiding her face from the obvious- what was glaring at her in the face to be taken head on. She looked around and finally caught my eye. We looked at each other, as if consoling each other, did manage to exchange a smile almost challenging the tears in our watery eyes.
As I boarded my flight and settled into my seat, I wondered if she was fine. I still don’t know what caused her so much pain and anguish.. But whatever it was.. I just wanted to tell her.. It too shall pass, like everything else does in life or wanted to hear it for myself, I kept thinking.
